Jan 4, 2021 - What Happened, What Followed

 You might be wondering about the strange thing Regina hinted at in the last post. There was a big disaster, and well, I'll let her tell it.

It's hard to say
exactly when it started
but here's an estimate:

December 21, 2020
two weeks ago -
The day all of my problems 
started
I think...

She walked up to me
shook my hand
looked me in the eye

I shook her hand
forced my eyes up
I smiled
but she didn't smile back.

The day went on
as usual
my name being called
so loud I couldn't hear myself think
can't they learn to be quiet?

thunk 
thunk 
thunk
whoosh
slam
crack
whispers
shouts
sirens
and the worst sound of all,
you lost.


This is the second part. I thought it made more sense if they were together:

What Followed

I sit
in bed
all
day
long.

I can't take it anymore.
the window
makes me jealous
they can run and play
while i just sit here
waiting
waiting
waiting

The look
on her face
told me all i needed to know

I lost.

I dwell on that thought
for hours
and hours
and hours
on end
I don't have anything else to do...

I've never lost before
and
I hate it.

The pitiful look
people give me
the 
regina bee lost her first match.

I feel as if 
this loss
is the first one on the road
to loser hill.

I'm not a loser, I'm a winner! 
well, not anymore
i'm a loser now.

my foot aches with every breath
pain swirls in my toes
and comfort is a distant memory
I bought new shoes
but I've only worn
one of them

I sprained my ankle
I get off crutches in 2 weeks
if i'd won, that would be great
but i lost
so it doesn't
matter
that in two weeks
I'm not participating in the 
January 2021 Firefox Tournament 

my trophy shelf wont be a calendar anymore
it will be missing
January of 2021

the new year
stinks.


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